Grounding
How do you fit in your body, is it snug, loose, does it feel like your in it or above or below it? Is it something you notice ever?
Sometimes I feel like I'm floating through my days, the time only passes when something is really truly happening. Like a special episode of the never ending series. I finally get to go on that trip, or at the very least, leave the usual rut I'm allowed to run in.
But being present in my body doesn't always happen if there's too much noise all around me. It helps immensely to have something or someone to pull me back to base when I start to drift.
I used to carry literal rocks in my pocket that I would fidget with when I needed to get out some pent up energy or nerves, I still have some key items I'll routinely fidget with to try and keep myself from spacing out in the middle of a meeting (my current favorite is an ONO roller it's got a good weigh and feels nice to use, very smooth). I'll never understand the folks who can sit still and also pay enough attention to take notes and ask decent questions at the end of whatever the discussion is. I zone out too quickly and don't usually manage to find my way back to the ground. Not without help.
Sometimes exercise helps, doing something physically demanding can be good to keep me in my body. I can't usually go for as many laps around the block as I need to, or the hiking trails are too far away.
I think I would have an easier time in lectures and meetings if it where more socially acceptable to pace in the room or even better we all go for a walk. I'm constantly fighting my leg bouncing and generally fidgety natural, the funny thing is I don't think it was as difficult to keep still when I was younger, maybe I just wasn't as present in my body as I am now. I guess as I've become more "Me" the probably ADHD has come more to the surface. Thank the gods I'm allowed to get up and leave any room at will when it starts to feel too small.
Mostly in the adult world people don't seem to notice or care about my perpetual motion as long as I'm not disruptive or weird about it... But sometimes I just need to be let loose to run around like a Border Collie in a field.
My mind may wander and my body gets antsy and I'm still trying to figure out a happy medium to keep me level without annoying the crap out of the people around me.
Hopefully I'll find my outlet for the zoomies before I start chewing on the couch cushions.
-J