Growing Out
I'm for the first time in about 7 years letting my hair grow out. I'm keeping the sides and back shaved down for now but the rest is already long enough to be in my eyes. Its annoying, but clips help keep it out of the way. When it gets long enough I'd like to teach myself how to braid it, like Legolas from LOTR!
When I was young I wasn't really allowed to make decisions about my hair cuts. I wasn't able to have the hair cut I wanted, I was taken to salons instead of barbers and told it needed to be a girls style.
Dear reader I've never been a girl, but that didn't matter to anyone at the time.
In high school I finally felt able to advocate for myself and went with my dad and brother to there barber and got the men's style I'd been wanting for years. My mother threw a fit but it didn't matter. I was happy. I've kept it short ever since. The idea of growing it back out filled me with dread and I for the longest time hated it getting longer then a few inches.
But recently I've been feeling more confident and comfortable with myself and want to grow it out. Not feeling disgusted by the idea is thrilling, it means that Ive outgrown the anxiety around being judged that I learned to feel when I was younger.
Slowly I've been reclaiming my freedom to choose my own path and unlearning the habit of self hatred. Its been so freeing to finally be able to be myself. Living independently for ones self is difficult but also so rewarding. Leaving past expectations behind and understanding that the family I find going forward will support who I am and not who I was forced to be.
It's going to be a long journey to learn how to care for my hair as it grows, I never really learned how to care for my hair in the first place. So it's only more recently that I've gotten it to look the way I wanted it to. This is going to be one hell of a research project...
One thing that I'm not looking forward to dealing with is wadding through all the online "tips and tricks" for keeping it looking nice. I have fine straight hair, and it feels like a lot of the advise is meant for thick and curly hair. In regards to knowing what products I might use I feel so overwhelmed. Lots of things are too heavy and other things just make it greasy as all hell, and I'd love to know why products tend to be so costly!
I'll figure it out tho. I always do.
To you dear reader, I hope your able to find comfort in yourself and if you don't feel it yet, I hope one day soon you find that joy in being who you are and who you might become.
With love,
-J
P.S.
If there are any Stylists or Trichologists in the room who would be so kind as to offer advise or links to resources, It would be greatly appreciated! My email is in the about page.